Peace and mercy of God. Dear brothers, we are talking today about three psychological introductions that you should invoke before you advise others, if you want your advice to be truly effective. The first: Sincerity: When we talk about advice in private, we usually mean that the counselor does not fall into embarrassment, but there is another benefit: your advice is not a display of your abilities in front of others. This is important when a father comes to you with his son and says to you: (Talk to the boy! He does not hear the words, he does not pray, he does not study, his friends are bad). If you advise the child in front of his father, he may feel that you are not advising him for him but rather to please his father, he feels that you are not sincere in your advice. He shakes his head to laugh at you, and has closed his heart for what you say. Better than that, you say to the father: "Let Abu al-Shabab and I go around and chat." The words will actually come out of your heart at that time, not complimenting anyone, and the boy will feel that. The second introduction: Willing to be good for whom you advise, not for your advice to be a drop of duty only: In the authentic hadith that Quraysh said to the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him: Let your Lord make us the row for gold and we will believe in you. The Prophet said, "And do you do?" they said: Yes. So he called, and Gabriel came to him and said: “Your Lord reads upon you peace and says: If you wish, the row will become gold for them. The Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: “Rather, it is the door of repentance and mercy.” (Al-Silsilah Al-Sahih, number: [3388]). He could say: If they disbelieve after that, let the matter be settled and rest from them, and why should I make sure to guide them afterwards? But it is mercy despite their harm to him, peace be upon him. This is with the infidels, so how about the Muslims ?! God Almighty said: {A messenger has brought you from among yourselves to be dear to Him. How influential your advice, God willing, when someone feels that you are keen on his benefit in this world that is overwhelmed by materialities. The third psychological introduction: Asceticism from what is in the hands of the people: God Almighty mentioned that His prophets, may blessings and peace be upon them, used to say to their people: {And what I ask you for in terms of a reward If I was paid only against the Lord of the worlds: 109) [ Yes, this called for acceptance. And in the hadith that was classed as hasan by Al-Nawawi and Al-Albani, that the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Conquer in this world that God will love you, and with what is in the hands of people, people will love you” (Sahih Al-Jami`; No. (922)). You don't want money, votes, or anything else from them. Therefore, it is not good for those who want to be a self-appointed counselor to ask those who know them about their salary, properties, or any question that he feels is trying to benefit from forming a relationship with them. This makes them feel that he is taking advice as a ride to benefit them. These were three psychological introductions to every faithful counselor: sincerity, wanting goodness for people carefully, and asceticism in what is in their hands. Next time, God willing, we talk about things to do before the advice is needed, so that our advice will be more effective when it is needed. Peace be upon you and the mercy of God.
How does it affect people - (2) Being keen to benefit and not greedy for what they have benefit greedy